'How Women Rise' touches on the typical habits which potentially hamper women's professional development. Instead of money and position, success should be understood on individual terms. The text is sensitive to outside obstacles women experience, however, it foregrounds the need for women to understand and alter the actions that restrict them themselves.
The book emphasizes on behaviors like hesitance to accept accomplishments, unduly emphasizing on expertise, and going overboard to satisfy others. These behavioral patterns are seen as hurdles that can halt women's growth. Overcoming them is a beneficial step towards true success.
In several instances, women who've struggled with these behaviours learn to detect and alter them, allowing them to prove their worth and foster better relationships at work. From a software engineer learning to highlight her achievements, to an overworked associate learning to set boundaries, every woman can take control of her trajectory.
Resistance to change isn't just a light roadblock, it can become a freight train blocking the path towards achieving personal goals. Often, this pushback is actually locked into our neural pathways -- those powerful connectors in the brain that favor the comfort of familiar behaviors. This could make us offer up excuses to keep practicing these behaviors, further strengthening the neural pathways and freezing us in a state of fear of the new.
In the narrative, we meet Ellen, a Silicon Valley engineer who encountered resistance in the form of criticism from her employer. Instead of letting it pull her down, Ellen used the critique to encourage growth and change. Similarly, we can all pivot from reacting negatively to feedback, to approaching it analytically and viewing it as a stepping-stone towards improvement.
Common beliefs can often form strongholds in our minds that lead to resistance to change. These might include the belief that ambition is negative, or that our role is to satisfy everyone around us. However, it's crucial to assess if these truly align with our own values and goals. Breaking free from the biases can pave the way towards our growth journey and achieving our full potential.
In 'How Women Rise', Marshall Goldsmith and Sally Helgesen dissect 12 common self-sabotaging habits that can halt career progression for women. These behaviors tend to be different than those that hamper men. Notably, they discuss 'Speaking while female' - when women's ideas are undervalued or credited to men, a phenomenon that hinders professional advancement.
Organizations can unintentionally pigeonhole employees based on past conduct, making it challenging to break free and adopt new behaviors. Consequently, certain roles and identities that no longer serve individuals may become their norm, inhibiting their career progression. Overcoming these preconceived notions is key to professional growth and breaking away from perceived identities.
Many organizations harbor a bias for action, encouraging more without considering the associated behaviors that might need to cease. This common modus operandi can disrupt individual behavior changes essential for career advancement. Knowing when to let go of non-serving behaviors can be as crucial to success as adopting new ones.
In industries like law, consulting, and investment banking, women genuinely shine, delivering exceptional work and transfixing attention to detail. Despite such ability, they often battle to publicly acknowledge their accomplishments—a trend that tends to overshadow their brilliance and slow down career progression.
This noticeable hesitance in claiming achievements stems from societal pressures that expect women to be humble and downplay their success. Women who combat these stereotypes by asserting themselves are often cast in an unfavorable light compared to those who play by society's rules, although this modest approach can also be detrimental.
It's evident that a modest, self-effacing attitude can scupper professional development, demonstrating how important it is to not just strive for success but to claim it too. Savvy self-promotion isn't about feeding an inflated ego—it's about believing in one's abilities and portraying that confidence to others. Recognize your worth and allow your merits to propel your career trajectory.
Often, we labor under the delusion that if our work is exemplary, it will naturally be singled out for appreciation. Particularly most women, unfortunately, harbor this mistaken belief, thinking they don't need vocal self-advocacy. Yet, silence can lead to valuable contributions simplybeing overlooked. Not receiving adequate recognition can even dampen job satisfaction.
Maureen, an accomplished lawyer operating at senior level, exemplifies the power of vocalizing one's ambitions. Despite stellar performance, her professional trajectory lagged behind her male counterparts due to initial passivity. But contemplating an exit from the firm sparked a response from her practice head, who affirmed her future partnership. The lesson here? Taking the initiative to talk about promotion desires can secure obvious recognition and open up tantalizing career possibilities.
An ambitious young analyst harnessed the power of a swift, precise elevator pitch to impress a senior official. Able to articulate his job, aspirations, and qualifications in an intentionally condensed summary, he showcased his ambition and alignment with the organization's goals. Aspiring professionals can take their cue from this to construct personal, compelling elevator pitches, acting as a beacon for opportunities.
Establishing a clear, personal career mission statement can pay significant dividends. Once you map out your professional aspirations explicitly, it empowers you to discern opportunities that truly align with those goals. According to Peter Drucker, simplifying and clarifying your mission to the degree where it could fit on a T-shirt can provide a critical sense of direction to navigate career decisions.
The urge to specialize and excel in a particular field or job can often come at a cost. Although it's important to be highly skilled and knowledgeable in your profession, the overemphasis on expertise can impede career growth, particularly for women. This reverence for specialization can sometimes trap individuals, preventing them from exploring other opportunities for growth and advancement. A few remarkable individuals have learned this lesson well and have scaled the career ladder by looking beyond just expertise.
There is quite a bit more to success in an organization than being a master in your role. Four types of power can shape the work environment: expertise, connections, personal authority, and positional power. A balanced mixture of these elements is vital not only for personal career development but also for the overall health of an organization. Simply put, focusing on 'knowing it all' is not enough. Building relationships and gaining recognition are equally important.
Our tale includes the story of Ashley, who once placed sole importance on mastering her role but realized the traps of this mindset. Ana, a dedicated software designer, also pivoted from an intense focus on technical expertise when she saw the reward in relationship-building and gaining clients' trust. Companies like Intel, represented here by Ted Jenkins, sustain their health and innovation by valuing an equilibrium of the four power types. These lessons are a gentle reminder to guard against overvaluing expertise and how different types and balance of power can lead to career advancement.
In a captivating examination of women's ascent to leadership roles, Marshall examines the delicate equilibrium between building relationships and exploiting them. Notwithstanding women's renowned relationship nurturing skills, our understanding of their trepidation to tap into the potential of these relationships is broadened.
Plunging into the heart of the leverage, we discover its reciprocal nature - it's a two-way traffic. A harmonious give-and-take that can propel us towards short-term wins and strategic goals. Employing it conscientiously awards measurable, tangible outcomes, shifting our perspective on leveraging altogether.
Furthering the conversation on leveraging, it's underscored as more than mere opportunistic navigation. It's a careful mélange of profound connection-building and strategic relationship-cultivations. All too often, women banks on undiluted relationships, inadvertently hindering their progress. Acknowledging this pitfall is a surefire way to unlock untapped potential.
Boiling down to a choice that isn't inherently self-serving or immoral, leveraging, when correctly executed, is a mutual advantage. It's about mastering the art of identifying the value-dynamics in each relationship, making the most of every connection. Women can tap into their innate strength - forging deep connections - intentionally nurturing valuable relationships.
Embarking on a job or project? Consider switching gears from the usual initial focus on mastering the job's nuts and bolts. Instead, take a page from the male playbook, which often leans towards early ally-making. The key is seeing the strategic value in fostering connections from day one. This not only earns you immediate support and reduces isolation but also effectively positions you for success, making you more visible in your workspace.
Allies aren't just your peers and colleagues playing on the same level. They can also be higher-ups, sponsors, direct reports, and neutral third-parties who can vouch for you. Interestingly, the common career wisdom of finding a mentor deserves a re-evaluation. Mentors offer guidance, but sponsors go the extra mile to advocate for you, knocking down hurdles in your path. Trouble is, sponsors may not be readily available due to a shortage of senior leaders. Hence, cultivating a diverse ally network takes on even more importance.
One's credibility at work can largely depend on the strategic choice between concentrating on expertise or on forging alliances. Besides providing vital support, alliances mark an indispensable part of your personal brand, demonstrating your ability to build productive relationships and work as part of a team. As such, allies are not just additional connections but sources of strength and credibility as you navigate your career path.
There's no denying the immense valor that many women exhibit when it comes to dedication to their jobs. But when this unyielding loyalty results in career inertia, it's a lose-lose situation. The narrative offers an insight into the pitfalls of overlooking career progression in the name of loyalty. Indeed, a job centered approach with scant regard for career advancement can limit not only earning potential, but also long-term job satisfaction and impactful contributions.
Take Serena's story, who for over a decade, took pride in her role as a senior production assistant. She stood by her boss and held on to her job, watching her colleagues move up the ladder. Serena's revelation came when she recognized that her own loyalty was obstructing her path to career advancement. Shedding her fear of seeming disloyal, she finally stepped out of her comfort zone and seized the reins of her career progression.
Another aspect of the loyalty syndrome, team loyalty, is equally damaging. When women invest heavily in nurturing their teams at the expense of building meaningful relationships with senior leaders and external collaborators, they unwittingly become their own roadblocks. Prioritizing such internal management responsibilities may indeed prevent them from ascending to more influential roles that require strategic networking and external outreach.
Aversion to self-interest often sways women away from focusing on personal career growth, as evident in Heidi's case. By convincing herself that pursuing personal ambition was selfish, Heidi was indeed, holding back her career. The turning point arrived when she unlearned this misguided perception and welcomed self-interest as a pathway to a thriving career and a satisfactory life.
Did you know that the all-consuming notion of perfection can impede a progressive professional life, particularly for women? Yes, you heard it right. Perfectionism, which seems like a badge of honor, often cooks up a toxic concoction of stress, negativity and unrealistic expectations. It essentially hijacks the big-picture thinking, keeping an otherwise capable mind needlessly niggled by minute details.
Interestingly, women are more susceptible to such perfection pitfalls thanks to the societal norms and learnt behaviors. From an early age, the narrative of being precise, conscientious and perfect gets ingrained into the female psyche, more than their male counterparts. It doesn’t just end there. Such perfectionism often leads to women's mistakes being scrutinized more severely in workplaces, adding to their fear of failure and fostering an environment of self-doubt.
Consider the story of Vera, a high-potential executive whose permanent quest for perfection led her to micromanage, thereby echoing negativity amongst peers and stunting innovation – a huge blow to her once prospective CEO candidacy. Contrastingly, Dana, another executive, ruled the roost by maintaining high standards without fretting over trifling mistakes. With a balanced view on perfection, Dana effectively delegated tasks, scaled priorities and responded to criticism, thus exemplifying professional success.
Imprisoned in perfection, many struggle to relinquish control, impeding their potential to be effective leaders. Learning the art of delegation and smart prioritization can help break away from this perfection grip, fostering an enriching working environment through shared responsibilities and accelerated productivity. After all, to err is human and acknowledging that fact might be the first step towards avoiding the perfection trap.
You've probably come across the term 'disease to please', especially in contexts referencing career setbacks for women. This disease signifies an intense urge to keep everyone content, ultimately causing difficulty in delegating tasks. Often driven by a daunting dread of letting people down, this condition can potentially lead to adverse effects such as compromised decision-making abilities and lack of authoritative actions.
In understanding the predisposition of women towards chronic pleasing, societal norms and cultural influences can't be overlooked. Women have been conditioned to favor others' needs over their own, contributing to the breeding ground of this ailment. These societal pressures further extend to notions of 'supermom', burdening women with unrealistic expectations to efficiently juggle between multiple roles.
The practice of consistent pleasing places significant strain on one’s personal and professional life, impeding growth and development. It also establishes a feeling of indispensability, making it hard to say no to requests. Furthermore, it instigates guilt and fosters a fear of being the subject of gossip. This relentless pattern can lead to a state of overwhelm and subsequent burnout.
Consider Nancy's example, a chronic pleaser navigating through professional and personal challenges. Struggling under immense pressure from taking on excessive demands at work, she realized the fallout of her inability to delegate or set boundaries. With the assistance of her coach, Ilsa, she gradually transformed her approach to pleasing into prioritizing her needs and setting clear boundaries.
In 'How Women Rise,' Marshall highlights the common habit of 'minimizing' exhibited by women in professional settings. An interesting observation at a board meeting revealed how women often reduce themselves physically, making room for late-arriving colleagues, while men largely held their space. This adaption by women to accommodate others affects how they're perceived.
Furthermore, Marshall delves into the communication habits of women, identifying frequent use of language minimizers such as the word 'just,' and verbal disclaimers, both of which deliver a hint of uncertainty. Instead of assertively expressing thoughts or requests, this softened approach can lessen a woman's power and authority within a context.
Women also have a tendency to use the collective pronoun 'we,' even when referring to personal accomplishments, thereby lessening individual contributions. While this sidesteps any perception of bragging, it can also cause ambiguity about their specific role in achieving success. Ultimately, the minimizing habit dilutes the impact of a woman's achievements, diminishing her perceived effectiveness.
Walking the tightrope of emotional expression is a challenge many professional women face. Frequently labelled as 'too emotional', women are pushed to suppress their emotions leading to a sense of inauthenticity. However, deciding not to express emotions can be just as damaging, often reducing their ability to build trustworthy relationships with colleagues.
The 'too much' versus 'not enough' paradox poses a significant dilemma for women in their professional lives. As women climb the ladder, striving to strike a balance in demonstrating their emotions becomes increasingly critical. Recognising, accepting, and presenting emotions in a controlled and genuine manner is emphasised as a step to counter this challenge.
In a male-dominated corporate world where brevity is prized, women are often criticised for being 'too talkative'. Thus, mastering the knack of delivering crisp, concise communication becomes crucial. This not only enhances professionalism but also ensures their voice is heard in environments where attention is fleeting.
Startup cultures encourage personal bonding, compelling women to share more than required, unintentionally falling into the trap of over-disclosure. This could backfire, as over-sharing can harm their professional credibility. Understanding the boundaries of what constitutes appropriate personal disclosure is an important part of managing workplace relationships.
The contemporary push for authenticity at the workplace can often be a trap for women as it blurs the line of expectations and norms. Thus, seeking a healthy balance where women can remain true to their emotions and yet maintain professional boundaries is the path for a successful career march.
In the ebb and flow of life, women often tend to scrutinize their setbacks painstakingly, blaming themselves for any consequences. This habit of rumination, being more predominant in women due to their close attention to relationships, renders them into ceaseless self-analysis. Unfortunately, this merely deepens their pain and impedes issue resolution. On the contrary, men seem to effortlessly bounce back from setbacks without regretful introspection.
Consider the case of Liza, a film producer who dwells on her perceived failures when the CEO seems to favor a new producer. Liza's rumination leaves her feeling isolated and rejected. But a chance conversation with the CEO's ex-wife jolts her out of the rut, making her realize that the actions weren't directed at her. This insight results in her leaving her job for fresh opportunities.
Drawing insights from these stories, a powerful technique to break this cycle of rumination is revealed - distraction and interruption. Enforcing a conscious intervention can propel the individual out of the self-imposed inertia.
There's also a vivid connection between rumination and substance abuse. The negative mental state fostered by ruminators can push them towards excessive consumption to escape this mental clutter. But, as soon as the temporary high fades, lurking rumination strikes back, thus creating a harmful cycle. Therefore, the imperative to break free from rumination becomes crystal clear.
Check out the world's diverse power of concentration! Women are often famed for their broad-spectrum notice, frequently scanning their surroundings for a plethora of clues. On the other hand, men generally maintain a more focused attention, which proves speed and efficiency are often prioritized over interpersonal skills within organizations.
Radar notice, as it turns out, is quite handy when it comes to building relationships, boosting morale, negotiating, and collaborating. But wait! It's not all sunshine and rainbows. The downside to this is that it can scatter attention and even wreak havoc on confidence levels. For instance, an executive coach, Taylor, found her radar distracting during a presentation due to unfavorable audience reactions.
Caught in a similar pickle? Here's something to chew on: One major takeaway is the importance of managing the so-called 'left-hand column of thoughts' to stay focused and present. Mirette, Taylor's colleague, suggested she reframe the situation to stop distractions from shaking her self-assurance. Reframing is an exhilarating technique that can help create a more positive narrative about one's circumstances.
Curious about reframing in action? Take Taylor, who put these techniques into practice to shrug off distractions and concentrate on her presentation. Similarly, Hadley, a garden designer, embraced reframing to accept her vulnerability openly and deliver an authentic and warmly praised speech. So, you see, harnessing the power of attention can positively influence outcomes and reactions.
The secret to making enduring alterations to your behavior is to fix your focus on a single habit at a time. Counterintuitively, smaller changes, repeated indefinitely, are actually more potent than a blanket change strategy. This is because smaller, consistent efforts are more easily turned into habits, hence gaining a longer lifespan.
Often, our behaviors are interlinked, forming what could be termed as habit clusters. To overcome the inhibitions these clusters present, it would be useful to identify each individual behavior constituting the cluster and tackle them one after the other. It's a progressive approach rather than a sweeping one that helps us loosen the grip of these interconnected habits and march towards our goals.
Life stories of many successful individuals echo this approach of laser-focused behavior change. Take Miranda, a law associate who successfully transitioned from a people-pleaser to someone who could assert her boundaries. Then there's Vera, plagued by perfectionism that made her lose sight of larger goals. By reorienting her focus on core objectives instead of petty details, Vera was able to change for better. Similarly, Dong Lao's emphasis on having an eloquent statement of purpose can help zone in on the behavior to address first, effectively serving our ultimate goals.
The transformative power of getting assistance to break counterproductive habits is the key focus of this extract. As explained, we often revert to known responses owing to autopilot mode, making it tough to shake off our old habits. But having someone to intervene, such as a coach, disrupts this pattern and helps instill new, beneficial behaviors.
Coaches or mentors can play a vital role in keeping us on track and accountable in our journey of growth. However, if such professional help is not accessible, the involvement of friends, colleagues, or even bosses could be equally beneficial. These dependable individuals not only thwart the tendency to slip back into old habits but also bolster relationships and respect for others' insights.
Last but not least, actively seeking help for personal development and success is vital. Enlisting help not only demonstrates trust in others' judgment but also strengthens professional and personal relationships. It empowers us to be open about our commitment to change, thereby forming the bedrock for new, more effective behaviors.
It appears that the burden of judgment, upon oneself and others, may serve as an unwanted restraint, potentially obstructing personal progression and dampening acceptance of change. This can typically plague women who often set higher personal demands for themselves.
Interesting strategies to overcome this crippling self-judgment include feedforward, an approach centered around accepting future-oriented advice from others. Subscribing to an 'oh well' frame of mind for one's slip-ups also assist in fostering self-acceptance and progression beyond errors.
Additionally, compiling a 'to-don't' list could prove helpful in shedding activities that are unnecessary, thereby focusing energy on the truly significant. Finally, judging others may create a cloud over one's own judgment and hamper personal enhancement.
Every successful woman's journey often involves an openness to learning and self-improvement, epitomized by Frances Hesselbein's keenness to enhance her skills. Balancing recognition of strengths that led to success and constructive self-criticism can produce fulfilling progress and influential roles.
Marshall identifies twelve habits that can potentially stunt the growth of women in business. Ironically, these behaviors often stem from commendable traits. For instance, hesitance to highlight one's achievements indicate modesty and respect for other's contributions.
Oftentimes, limiting behaviors are an extreme manifestation of positivity. For instance, excessive authenticity, driven by the desire to connect through shared experiences, could ironically prove overwhelming. Engaging in introspection and striking balance in exhibiting these strengths can help women achieve their highest potentials.
"How Women Rise" fills a crucial gap in literature by debunking the numerous myths and misconceptions surrounding women in leadership roles. It acknowledges the vast potential women inherently possess for leadership while offering a roadmap to overcome unconscious behaviors that could potentially hamper their upward mobility.
Professional growth and career advancement require a high degree of self-awareness. By understanding their own habits and tendencies, this book engages women to make necessary changes that positively impact their career trajectories.
Strong network and relationships are indispensable for career advancement. Accordingly, the book provides women with valuable tips to tap into supportive and influential associations that could open doors to new career opportunities.
The role of organizations in this context is crucial. It calls for creating a work environment fostering inclusivity, advocated by "How Women Rise." Such atmospheres stimulate women to confidently take up leadership roles, thus enriching the workplace by adding diverse perspectives.
Navigating Career Advancement for Women
Breaking Chains of Self-Critique
The insightful chronicle 'How Women Rise' by Sally and Marshall navigates professional obstacles women uniquely encounter. It builds upon the notion that behaviors propelling individuals into high endeavors often sabotage their efforts to ascend higher. Interestingly, the dynamic duo reveals that the success of women often triggers a wave of self-critique. This trait is contrasting to their male counterparts predominantly prone to acknowledging accomplishments while deflecting blame.
Decoding Gender-based Hurdles
Marshall and Sally’s collaborative pen uncovers that women generally modify their actions, shaped by distinct career challenges. Intense scrutiny on Marshall’s coaching database revealed a staggering 80 percent male representation. Conversely, Sally's thirty-year legacy in bolstering women's leadership skills has been instrumental in offering valuable insights into behaviors stunting women’s career growth.
Customized Guidance Tailored to Women's Needs
Insights and personal experiences culminate into the authors' elaborate guidebook, designed to aid women in career progression. It embraces the rich expertise of Sally, including her enlightening epiphany at a Marshall seminar that perfectionism came at a great cost to her productivity. Additionally, Marshall's coaching experience with Frances Hesselbein, a decorated leader known for self-criticism despite success, underscores the different behavioral habits between genders.